Find the place where everything feels ok

Today while I was alone and cleaning up the house. It came to me that I was at peace in that moment. And then I realized that we are always at peace but choose to leave that place. Basically we have to find the place inside where everything FEELS ok. It may not be ok materially or financially or what ever but if we can find that place where it feels ok that is the place of peace, that is where God is. The trick is and I’m working on it, is not to leave that place. Of course then the world will assail us saying “ you must leave peace because…” and it will give is its myriad reasons why we must leave peace. But it’s a trick and a lie. I know because I’ve left peace many times, gone deep into hell. Only to discover there’s no there there. And the world will tempt you with this lie. “ Follow me, leave peace for now, it’s only temporary. Do what I tell you and I promise I will give you peace when you do what I want you to do. When you do what you have to do.” It’s a lie that can go on and on and on. The temptations, the temporary replacements for peace look very good; money, fame, things, jobs, business, struggle. The people, places and things we feel we must have or do first before we can have peace. It’s a lie because the reality is that PEACE IS NOW. Peace is here. This is a reality and a truth I feel and know right now. The thing is how long can I stay here?
And, if I stay here, can things based on peace come from here? Could I have a life based on peace and not fear? “The world says “NO you will die if you stay in peace!” But what if my garden was made of peace and everything that grew out of it was made of peace. And what if that’s how I lived, a life made from peace. THAT would be cool and THAT, I’ve decided, is what I want.

The Non-Profit Revelation

But then today I had another revelation. I was at Seattle Center and was just thinking. I finally got to talk to Rox about it and as I was talking to her about all of this I basically talked myself into going non-profit. Because I realize that it’s the same process as for profit except one is unconditional and one is conditional. I was talking about how Christian groups seem to give a lot more unconditionally than some other groups it seems to me. There are other religious groups who instead of freely giving the information and then asking for donations, charge at the door. The more I thought about this the more I realized that if I could succeed at either method I would rather do the unconditional method. I’ve talked about this before a lot and I wrote about it in the essay “The Economics of Love.” Anyway I felt really inspired and realized that if they can raise millions to build a church I can raise millions to fund my films. Well, not millions at first, maybe just hundreds or thousands but that I feel a lot better about asking for donations than for conditional investments. And the main reason is, that if I ask for donations than I am going to one, have to truest a lot more but also it is that the emphasis will be on the mission and purpose of why I’m making the films. Things such as the fact that I am making spiritual films or films to communicate a more positive images to kids etc. When you ask for conditional money in the form of for profit investment, there may be an altruistic reason behind the project but your emphasis is going to be on money and what your going to give back to the investors. I.e. what were getting. Verses what where giving.

Anyway I feel really good about it. I haven’t fully decided yet but I am close.

Purpose Found!

I got it man. Man god has really been showing me the way lately. First was I realized I was to make films. But then I thought I was to use the traditional for profit system, but then I went to a special night time service at the Christian Faith Center yesterday, and saw this preacher from LA named Dr. Fredrick Price. And he gave this great sermon. And here is the thing, as we were walking into the Christian Faith Center, I thought "wow how did they get this huge million-dollar center." And, believe it or not, that is what the sermon was about. As if God was listening, which I guess he was. And the thing was, Price was not over the Christian Faith Center but his story about how he built his church was just as good. What he said, which totally matched what Eckart Tolle was saying about how one should start where they are, was that he started in 1964 with a church of 12 people. He started where he was planted. And it just grew and eventually his faith grew too. And they moved miraculously into a seven hundred-dollar facility and then a 26 million dollar facility and he said it was all by faith. And then I had a revelation that the only difference between him and me was that my church is the movie theatre and my way of teaching is film. He answered all kinds of questions I had about how one should go about doing their mission or how I should do my mission. How should I make films? And then he said another thing that really helped me. He was talking about borrowing money to move to one of his new churches and how some people didn’t think one should borrow money how that was dealing too much with the world and how debt would enslave you etc. etc. That is what I think too. That is why I had decided not to get investors for my films and decided to try to save and earn the money myself. But he made a really good point and that was that when you are doing Gods work you need to realize its not your project, it’s Gods project. The other thing is that there is not a lot of time. We have to reach as many people as possible as fast as possible. It made a lot of sense and when he talked about how all his loans where paid and how him and his organization now had a positive net worth. It made me realize God can use the world for his purposes if he wants to.

This was a big breakthrough for me. Right then and there, I new I was to raise money. There was only one issue left. Should I go non-profit or for profit. Well that was yesterday but then today I read more of this new film book I got called the “Independent Filmmakers Declaration of Independence.” And it’s a cool book by the guys who made the film “Northfolk” and other independent films. The book carefully outlines the whole process they went through from idea to raising money to filming. I just happened to read the raising money section and it sounded absolutely crazy, just as I imagined but I was ready after last night to jump in and start seeking money using the for profit model.

Back Above Water

Anyway some new news. This film thing is just really taking off. I see now what God was doing. He knew if he could just get me to start working on a film, any film, that I would get hooked. And that’s what’s happened. I just feel so inspired to work on this. It’s totally different than anything else. So I’ve decided to just see where this energy is taking me and just see where this leads. I have a feeling its going to lead to some very interesting places; Man, have I been blocked! Vancouver, Dream Power, worrying about money and stuff. If I was supposed to do films all along then I have really been blocked. Anyway time will tell. I am sure I have many more blocks.

I am being drawn towards film

On the film front. As soon as I started working on Star kids things have taken off. Right now I am working on the script and am a third done. Man I tell you there really is power in taking action. The key seems to be identify your process and then start doing it. it is so simple really. But I have had to get though many blocks to get to this point. Vancouver was a major one. Now I am much more relaxed about things. I’m letting life take me where it may. Now here is the other thing. This film is possessing me. I really feel inspired for the first time in a long time. But its funny at first I though this was going to be a fun little side project. but the more I do it the more it consumes my life. The more I feel like its working me instead of me working it. so I decided to just go with it. My mind says “oh I have to do dream power and stuff” but I just don’t have time right now. Right now I am fully into doing films. Where will it end? I don’t know but I really feel this is where I belong. So I’m just going to trust and see what happens. I have a feeling God is really taking me into new territory.

The Magic Place

Well I’ve started work on the script for "Star Kids" and I tell you it is amazing. Just working on the film teleports me into this magical place. I see that I do need to go though this process. There is so much more you learn by doing something. The other thing I am noticing is that I am bumping up against my issues. I see that I have several unconscious issues about doing film and as I take action it forces me to deal with them. Like for instance, I think I have this idea that no one would want to help me. So I think "ok I'll do it alone." But really, that is just an illusion. Film is a collaborative sport and I will have to interact with others. It’s a social thing. And I can be anti social at times. Also I was thinking it would just be my family but as I work on the story I am seeing that I can make this a much bigger and more exciting movie by just asking for help. And when I think of that it scares me. Why because I fear rejection. But I tell you there is no better cure for issues that to just face up to them, and this process is forcing me to do that.

Today I finished a rough treatment and a rough outline. Next I will polish up the outline and get the sequence of events straight. Then I will work on the script. My goal is to sell this movie as a dvd. To the kids market but primarily the spiritual and the African American video markets. Just like Robert Rodriquez was thinking. And no matter how much I think this is not going to be good. All I have to do is remember that there is plenty of garbage in the video store and I know I can make a better movie than most of it. So we will see. But I see that doing this process is really helping me.

As for Seattle . I also see that I have everything I need to do what I really want here. But I still would like to move to Vancouver. Anyway, I feel this film thing is going to take us somewhere and it will be interesting to see where it takes us.

Plans and the ego

I am stuck on the Japanese garden video. It’s coming out really good. But I think God has something else in mind. Which I am not surprised since usually his ideas are different than my small hair brained ones. Of course my ego was thinking “oh we can sell this and it will make us money!” but now I have no idea. I’ve decided to live from moment to moment, letting the spirit guide my actions instead of always making plans. No more plans. Plans are a sure sign of the ego. Not even for dream power or films. Nothing of this Earth can save me so there is no need to start making elaborate plans that lead no where. I can make one error or a mountain of errors it don’t matter they’re still errors.

The ego would have you think that if you make a giant colossal mountain of errors. That some how the size of the errors will magically fix the errors. But the ego is only concerned with the illusion of size. Like Enron, it don’t matter if its billions of dollars of errors its still illusion. So why not stop now, turn around the car and head in the right direction.

That’s what I am doing as of right now. Its scary (to my ego) but I know it’s the right thing to do. So as for Vancouver I have no idea. I am not planning to do that big computer guy business. When I was in LA I had $25,000 and a nine-month time period to build up the business and it still did not work. And it probably won’t work now and if it did it would be a struggle and would not bring me the free time and peace of mind that I seek. I know this. Peace of mind comes from God not from businesses and not from money. So I’m not doing that unless God want s me to and I already know that I should not by the lack of joy I feel. A couple months ago I was at this point but I was like well if the jobs keep coming, than maybe it’s a sign. But I wasn’t doing the film work and had forgotten how it felt to be inspired, now I know.

Anyway the editing program I use (studio v 9.1) keeps crashing for some reason. And its starting to become a struggle to finish the Japanese Garden DVD. Which is a shame because I am finished with it for the most part. Now that I am in this new state of consciousness I have no idea where this film will lead. Maybe its only purpose was to wake me up and now that I have woken up (again) it doesn’t need to be finished. Well I hope I can finish it because it is a beautiful peace of work and I am proud of what I or rather what has been created though me. So we will see. The path just gets more and more interesting doesn’t it.

All the way back in the Spirit again

Well it’s true. You can’t serve two masters. Ever since I gave Otto my testimony about our journey through faith from Houston to here I realized that I have had almost nothing to do with our lives being the way they are. Every thing has been because God directed it. So why would I keep interfering the way I have been with all this Vancouver talk etc. I realize now that God is the only true reality and I need to get my ego out the way so he can do his work. That means surrendering like I said I would totally and completely. So here we are back to trusting again. I think I made a mistake last May when I started doing the computer guys. I was frustrated and hungry and broke. But I see now that I needed to still take all my needs to God via prayer. To run away and try to handle things myself was not the way to go. Leaving Heaven is not going to get you to Heaven. Also I stopped watching the news and TV as much for that matter and when I am sitting there with no way to stimulate my ego or distract myself from my true self I start to realize what I feel moved or guided to do.

Turned 40!

Today is my birthday and I am 40 years old! Man that is old. But I sure do not feel 40 or what ever my idea of being 40 is. I just feel like me. But just a little wiser. It was cool. Roxann threw me a 40th surprise birthday bash. All my friends were there, it was so cool. It was the second birthday party I had ever had in my life. The last one was when I was eight years old. I realized I had this fear of rejection or feeling like I didn’t deserver a surprise party. But I did deserve one and I had loving friends who really cared to be there for me, my new spiritual family. It made me realize that we have a pretty good support structure here in Seattle. Maybe I should not knock it so much. God is trying to work something out here. Maybe I should let him and stop trying to sabotage it with this Vancouver stuff.

My New Name

Oh the other big news is that I formally changed my name to William Sky Spiritdancer. I had to go to court to change it in front of all these people. It was weird. When I had actually done it I felt like I had been reborn. A new self. I feel this name represents my new spiritual self and had more meaning plus I finally cut away the ties my family has had to slavery. I know the freed slaves kept the name because they thought it would give them some kind of status. But I feel that it does matter. I mean Drake is a cool name but everyone knows it’s from slavery. I mean, I don’t look English. Plus do you know what Drake means? Its from a family named Draco who lived on a hill in England that was known as dragon hill. See: http://www.xroyvision.com.au/drake/history/hist10.htm
All drakes come from this family. And it means, as you can guess, dragon. Hmm. Not much meaning there.

Anyway, it was a liberating experience to change my name. I have to say I do have some apprehension about it though. It is a unorthodox name but when I looked in the white pages I saw tons of unorthodox names. It seems that it’s only a problem if you give it to yourself. Anyway that’s the situation. I had to think up a new signature and everything.

What does it mean? Well I feel that I am doing a Dance with God and I wanted my name to represent that.

Many people think it’s native American. I didn’t do that consciously but maybe I did subconsciously. There is a lot of Native American in my family, Cherokee from what I’ve heard but who knows. Anyway no one cared when I had an English name. So seems like at this point in my family’s history I can name myself anything I want to.

Operation Vancouver, again!

Hey today is a new day but I was feeling really confused when I woke up today. I was having that nagging Vancouver feeling again. That I had to go there, and that that it had to be my first priority. I just want to feel settled. I want to live in a house in the city and the country that I want to live in. Why is this such a big issue? Why won’t I allow my self to do it? What am I afraid of? Anyway I decided to go for it again. I have decided to put dream power on hold again, at least any major projects. I might keep working on some scripts like Eden and Maya but I feel I can’t really commit to any big film projects until I am settled. I just don’t feel right in Seattle. Will I feel right in Vancouver? I have no idea? It might be worse. We might be total outcasts. But I want to know. I don’t want to regret it. Saying my whole life I wonder what life would have been like there. Plus life is too much of a struggle here. The other thing is that everything is going Internet and I think I should make that the focus of dream power as far as being the main distribution mechanism, especially for films. I think instead of doing a printed magazine, which is hard, and costly. Maybe I should just do an online version. Why not? And to distribute my films I should focus on the Internet. Anyway the last time I made this decision the computer guys just dried up. Will that happen again? We will see. I know how I want to live why can’t I live that way?
I just wonder if this is just my ego making it’s usual compelling arguments again. I don’t know. But I have other smaller wishes and the world doesn’t end. Like to day I wanted to go to McDonalds. And I went and the world did not end. What’s the difference between that and saying hey I want to go to Vancouver and live? Who knows?

Please help me spread the word

Hello. As you may or may not know, I’m publishing a new magazine this fall called inspire! Would you help me spread the word by forward this letter to your friends, colleagues and groups. I’m trying to take advantage of the power of the internet to get the word out quickly.

Thanks and I hope all is well with you.

~Sky

*******

Introducing Inspire! Magazine

Advertise in our exciting new magazine and help our readers make their dreams come true!

Welcome to the Dream Revolution!

The eighty’s were known for the financial revolution. The nineties were about the high technology revolution. But now the dawn of the new millennium will be known for the dream revolution, a revolution of the heart and soul! A time when understanding ones purpose in the world, making a difference with it, and living and sharing that dream in a successful and abundant way, will be the new siren call.

That siren call will be answered by Inspire! Magazine - a new magazine dedicated to celebrating the dreamer in all of us! A project of Dream Power international, Inspire’s mission is to help everyone awaken to, discover and live their true dream in life. Inspire! is organized around three unique, but related departments: For those in the process of awakening, there is SPIRITUALITY. For those discovering their artistic gifts, we have CREATIVITY. And finally, for those in the process of living their dream, we have EMPOWERMENT! Inspire is full of feature stories, interviews, “how-to” articles, inspiring fiction, tips, links to helpful resources, book excerpts, reviews, marketplaces and events. It’s uplifting design and stunning photography transports readers into magical realms of unlimited possibilities.

Help our Readers Turn their Dreams into Reality

When people read Inspire!, their passion, their creativity and their sense of purpose, are all reignited! They want to see and read about people, places, organizations and resources that can help them accomplish their goals. Some seek a deeper spiritual understanding. Some want to follow up on an interest. And, others want to acquire the resources and tools necessary to implement their dream fully and completely.

A quarterly magazine, printed in an environmentally sustainable manner, Inspire will be made available in the public space for free. It will be launched with an initial distribution of 25,000 in the Seattle and Puget Sound area in the fall of 2005. Our ultimate goal is to eventually do a quarterly distribution of 100,000 in the entire cascade region, with a focus on the cities of Seattle WA, Vancouver BC, and Portland OR.

Do you have a special product, service or resource that can help our readers on their extraordinary journey? If so let’s talk about how we can work together to help our readers make all of their dreams come true!

Support the Dream Revolution by getting involved with Inspire! You can participate in the following ways:

1. Advertise in Inspire! (The deadline for the premier issue is Aug 1^st)
2. Subscribe.
3. Help us with advertising sales. (earn money)
4. Get paid to contribute inspiring articles, illustrations and photography.
5. Pick it up, read it and share it.
6. Spread the word.

For more info please contact us at:

Tel: 206-234-4091 Ÿ Email: inspire@mydreampower.com

Web: http://www.mydreampower.com – (Click on Inspire! Magazine)

Thank you!

The Economics of Love

What Love really is
Before we can talk about the economics of love we have to talk about what love really is. Love is way more than jus the feeling you have towards you love ones. It is that and so much more. First of all love is the dynamic energy that is the fabric of the universe. It is the unifying energy that keeps everything together and everything working smoothing. From planets to machines to systems, organizations, and people. Love is god. You are love. And your divinely inspired gifts is how you will express love into the world. Quality is love. Now the thing about love is that it follows some laws. Lets call them the laws of love. One of the main ones is that Love is a conscious living energy that wants to flow as unconditionally outward to help and heal as much as possible. That is it’s very essence. Love doesn’t need anything. Love is a conscious living energy that wants to flow as freely as possible. When love flows as freely as possible this is called unconditional love. The most powerful type of love there is. Unfortunately on an economic level your society operates with conditional love. If you see your commercial transactions with one another as exchanges of love energy you can see that the conditions you place on these exchanges is a form of conditional love. This type of love is not as powerful as unconditional love. Weather it be personal relationships or business relationships.

Our Gifts are our love to give
What we have to understand is that our gifts are our love expressed here on the earth. So if your gift is art or music or engineering and if this is what you love to do than this is your love. Now the thing is in this society when we have a gift the next thing we tend to think about is how to make a living with it. And since we live in a capitalistic society that is all about getting, we tend to think ‘ok how can I get with this gift .’ ‘how can I make a living’ how can I make money.’ We don’t tend to think ‘how can I serve.’ Yet this is the crucial difference. Since these gifts are born of love and composed of love their purpose is to help make the world better. Their purpose is to serve. So you having these gifts makes you an angel of love. You are here to serve others with the gift. Your joy will come from letting this love flow as freely as possible not from your acquisition of material goods. Now we are not saying that you should not receive money for your gift and we are not saying you should not have material things. In fact these things will come faster the more freely you share you gift with the world. Let it flow. You can sell you gift if you want to but there is a better way that is more in alignment with the quality and essence of love. And that’s what you want to do . you want to be in alignment with this energy that is flowing though you. Love wants to be free. So let it out.

Give your gifts away.


We are all one
You have to understand a basic law of the universe. Give and you shall receive. See the problem is you think you are disconnected from everyone else. So you feel that if you give to them then you will lose something. But this is not true. See in truth we are all one. So in reality true reality if you give to another you are really giving to yourself. It will come back to you, it is the law. It has to.

Now there may be a delay and it may take time and it may come back in a different form and in a totally different way than you expected but the love you put out will come back to you. And this includes the love of your gift. so give it away. And give it away as unconditionally as possible.

Ask for help
To ask is the best way. This is in alignment with the laws of love. Give unconditionally and then ask for what you need. You already see this in your societies with churches and other charities and non profits. They are the way showers for this new kind of economics. Usually you see the asking done in the form of asking for a donation and this is ok. You can also ask for a suggested donation. It is ok as long as the product or serve being given is given no matter if a donation is made or not. Even when someone makes a big deal about the donation such as a preacher asking people do donate 100 ‘who has a 100 a 40 who has 50.’ that is infinitely better than charging money at the door. Their gift has flowed out and now they are asking for what they need and providing’ a vehicle for love to return to them in the form of donations.

It doesn’t look practical but this is because you have been living in your current system for so long. In this system people give because they want to not because of slick marketing. No more getting a music cd home and discovering you don’t like it and then not being able to return it. no more tricks, coercion, deception sales tactics. Just honest giving and receiving. And then feelings of gratitude returning as love back to you. It’s a new way and it requires trust and faith. You have to go out on an edge. But most of all it requires faith in your fellow man that he is good for the most part and not evil. You world has everything is needs right now at this moment for every man woman and child to live an abundant and successful life. But because of the fears most people have . no one wants to share and when they do share their gifts its trough your conditional system called capitalism. Or the free market.

A beautiful feast
Think of a family gathering. How is it organized? People call around and everyone agrees to bring something. And it’s a beautiful feast. Everyone brining their love and sharing their love. Now imagine if instead of food people brought all of their various gifts. And instead of a small family of 30 or 100 people it’s thousands and millions. Its no different. But no you say someone would take advantage of the situation. And yes some one might but whenever one is sharing and there is plenty for all what is there to take advantage of. Try it . instead of charging a price for your product or service try giving it away free and asking for a donation instead. At first you might not appear to be getting rich monetarily but you will see the immediate results of others getting rich from your love. And you will feel it. because you will feel the love spreading out from you to others. And believe us it will come back to you. Just focus on giving. And if you really get stuck ask for help. It’s a loving circle of giving and loving is what we are trying to reveal here.

The love already exist inside each one of you but you just have the wrong configuration. Currently if you economy were like an electric circuit. It is currently very inefficiency in its current t configuration. With the economics of love it will be in its correct configuration and will work much more effectively. People will gravitate towards what they love to do. Because no one will have to do what they don’t’ want to do. People will gladly share more because now they are doing what they love and by the very nature of that fact they will want to share their love as much as possible. So for example some one might love to garden and when they do the harvest people might come and ask for some of the bounty and they will be so glad to be able to share their creation with them. This is totally different than things are now where most people sweat and toil away in miserable professions that they hate. Or tolerate our of fear of survival. This is most of your plant. So of course in a situation like this people feel desperate. so in this case if you ask someone who hates farming and had to toil long and hard and suffer to bring about a crop if some one where to walk up and ask for some of the bounty they would feel resentful. ‘I had to work so hard to make this food who are you to just walk in here and ask for it like that!’ they feel that you have to do something just as hard as they did to earn the right to their work. They would be mad and angry . so this is the situation of you world where people trade their misery and suffering. It need not be so and we hope to guide you to a better world. A better way of living. The key here is love. And sharing and trust in god and in one another. Can you do that? it is not easy.

But it is time for you to evolve to go to the next level of existence.


The Economics of Love
We call this the economics of love because for you this is what it is. You think oh how can love have anything to do with money. But if you really only knew what love is. It is a powerful energy that guides supports the entire universe. The universe is made with the threads of love. It is everywhere. And you are part of it. It is god. And it is you. Now it is time for you to learn to use it wisely and to grown up as a society. So we reveal this truth to you. You are so much more than you realize. you are capable of so much right now. But you are caged in fear. Break free of the fear.

Right now you have a society that values accumulating for the sake of accumulating. You have a economics of fear and scarcity and lack. It is based on the belief, no the reality of the belief, that there is not enough to go around and so that is your reality. There is not enough to go around. But there is.

Currently you corporations are the pinnacle of this belief system. Is is the sum aggregate of everyone’s belief in lack. So you have created a machine and a giant computer called the corporation that now greedily consume everything in its path . like a cancer on the planet. These machines will destroy you .

Capitalism
Capitalism is based on this equation. Profit = sales- expenses. The idea as everyone knows is to reduce expenses as much as possible . increase sales as much as possible for maximum profit. If we think about it in terms of expense being what is needed to produce the product or service to be sold or that expense are what is needed to be given back to the world to produce the product or serve. Another way of looking at is is that expense are what is given . the capitalist wants to give the least amount he can. To get as much as he can. And not just that but to accumulate what he gets for the sake of accumulating. You have people and companies keeping score. Who has the most money. You don’t ask why? Why do we need this much money. It is just assumed that if you have more its better just by it’s very nature. So 10 million is better than `1 million and 1 million is better than `100000 etc. but with out purpose it is meaning less. So people say ‘yeah but if I had a billion dollars I could do good in the world.’ Well yes that would be true but but at what price? in fact so much damage would have been caused by the greed accumulation of that sum as to far out weigh the philanthropical benefits by giving it away. You corporations strip you plant of its natural resources . Poison the environment. Treat your workers with disdain, virtually enslaving mullions to lives of drudgery and death. Your cutthroat business tactics teach greed as the highest value. This is the price you pay. to do that in the name of progress is wrong . to take money attained in this manner and then to give it to a benevolent cause is insanity. The damage is already done. You call it giving back but why take in the first place? Freely give your love in the beginning and there is nothing to pay back. Thre will be no damage to repair.

This system cannot go on. If you understand the love energy dynamics involve you will see that what you have is a black hole. When what you need is a sun. What is a black hole? It is a negative sun. a star that is sucking in everything thing around it. Even light. It is a taker, for the universe, a greedy capitalist. Where as a star, it is a lover . She gives of her light freely to the space around her asking nothing in return. Where as a black hole gives nothing and takes everything. The polar opposite. This analogy is not perfect but you get the idea. You want a system where you and the institutions built from you are suns. Givers of love. Givers of life. Your corporations by their very nature are mechanizations of death. Their sole purpose is to suck the life out of everything they touch, yes you do get something in return . but you also pay a price greater than any perceived benefit.

But you as society do not see this.

Anyway. Lets look at the positive side of the ledger. The economics of love. Lets look at the same equation. Profit = sales – expenses. It looks the same right but what you have to understand is the critical difference is attitude. And attitude of giving. Lets call this the service model. In the service model which most of your non profits exemplify now. The goal of expense is no longer that which is given back to make the products. But now is that which is needed to give more. Because the goal of the service organization is to give. So even though this organization may take in money for it’s expense. The sole purpose of these expense is to server others as much as is possible. What you don’t understand as a society is this is the better way. Currently you think that non profits and charities are the exceptions. Holes in the system taking care of things that the free enterprise system just doesn’t seem capable of handling. What you don’t understand is that you have it backwards. This system, the non profit service model is capable of handling all of your problems and more. It is the capitalist take all approach that will destroy you society and is causing the problems.

It is the attitude of giving that is the difference and it makes all the difference. Adam smith really set you on the wrong course with his idea about selfish interest. The idea that people being as greedy as they can be. Fighting squabbling over so called scare resources would produce the best out come is totally wrong. Yes it produces an out come but it is far from the best out come. There are better systems but unfortunately by time Adam smith came around Europe was hopelessly heading down this dark road. What you have now s a system where no one really trust anyone else and where greed rules the day. Its all about the winner taking all. Does that sound like anyway to live? No it isn’t. What if we had a family dinner but instead of a potluck we said that no one could sample anyone’s dish freely. They could only trade. It wouldn’t be a very fun dinner would it? this is the kind of family you have.

Lets talk about the bottom line. In a corporation or business the bottom line or profit is money. How much money did we accumulate? How much did we get. How much did we take.

In the service model although they too need money to operate. Their operate with a different bottom line. Lets call it the high line. A line based on higher ideals, higher ideas higher values. The high line of service. And that line or profit is about how many people did we serve today, and how well did we server them., how much did we give, how much did we help. it is this attitude that is in alignment with the laws of love .

Love is all about service. Love needs nothing it just wants to go out into the world and help. That is it’s essence.

So let your love out. In the forms of your gifts. You will be so much more richer for it.

Gove example s of bit torrent and Craig’s list. And Microsoft and Wal-Mart

But what about scarcity. Won’t I just run out if I give it away?

The illusion of abundance

The higher line vs the bottom line

Why asking is the best way.
Because you are tapping into a persons desire to give which is tied in to their heart. And is better than selling them or coercing them because then you are focused on what they will get or the greedy/needy aspect the lower aspect of who they are.

The laws of Love

Loves wants to serve

Inspiration is love.

Love wants to flow freely

Love wants to flow unconditionally.

Love wants to flow outward.

Love doen’t need anything.

Love want’s to help.

Love want’s to heal.

Love gives.

You are love.

What you do is love.

Love is the fabric of the universe.

By Sky Spiritdancer 3-20-05

How to live a miracle based life

The Miracle Based Life:

How to live a successful, effortless, struggle free, fearless life that’s always in the flow.

First of all let’s get something straight. This is simple. Not exactly easy but simple. How hard or difficult it is, is totally up to you. So let’s not make it more complicated than it need be. Ok. Here is how miracles work. I also call this way of life ‘ living in the flow’ the flow being God’s grace.

STEP ONE: You have a request

We always start with something you want , for your self or someone else. You can call them prayers or intentions it don’t matter and God doesn’t care. Here’s the key before you do ANYTHING. Take that request to God first. Try to ask for the essence or quality of what you want not the form. For example if you want a new house in a certain neighbor hood ask yourself why. Doing that you might discover that the reason you choose that neighborhood was because you felt it had the essences or qualities of safety, near nature, close to schools and work etc. The thing is don’t pray for that specific neighborhood but for God to move you to a neighborhood with those qualities. When the miracle comes you will probably be sent to a much better neighborhood that you didn’t even know about. See that is the problem. Half the time we’re asking for stuff but we don’t really know what we want. The solution is to ask for the quality or essence of what you want and not the form. But if you feel you have to have a specific form it’s not the end of the world. Gods not going to strike you down or punish you or anything. See, If you haven’t fully surrendered your life over to God and you ask for a specific form of something. You will probably get what you asked for only to discover it’s not what you really wanted because usually we’re asking for way less than we deserve. The solution is to just say ‘or something better’ at the end of your request to at least give God a chance to give you something better and closer to what you really want. And believe me he knows what you REALLY want. You don’t. But, because you have free will he’ll give you what you THINK you want.

How to ask? Don’t make it complicated. It’s simple. Lets say you need your breaks fixed. You would say. God please fix my breaks for me. Thank you. That’s it. You can make it more complicated if you insist but that’s not necessary. They key is for it to come from your heart. The more heartfelt the prayer the quicker it will be answered. If it’s coming from your head then it might not happen at all. God knows what you really really want. The cool thing about this is you will only get what you really really want and not all that other garage you don’t really want but THINK you want. You can’t fool the heart and you can’t fool God.

Now here’s the next thing. Many people think that God can only help them with big emergencies. Nothing could be further from the truth. God wants to help us with everything all the time. The large and the small. I asked God for a new place, he gave it to me. But then I thought I had to take care of the deposit and the truck and moving expenses. Wrong. He took care of that too. So ask for everything you need. The best thing to do really is just surrender you whole life to God. Stop trying to manage it. Say ‘ God I give my whole life over for you to manage, I surrender it to you’ You do that and then things will really start cookin! When you see how efficient and good he is at taking care of you then you can just let it all go and let him manage it all. We really can’t manage our lives, that’s an illusion. We just think we can. And no, a ton of money is not the answer. I mean you can ask for money. But really you should ask for the quality of what you would buy with the money. What I mean is don’t think getting a ton of money in the bank is going to take care of you like God can. What your really doing is just making that money your god and believe me, that god will definitely let you down.

STEP TWO: Wait and have faith

This is called patient faith. As you are waiting you will have doubts, there will be pressures. Lets say you need to find your new house in a few months or weeks. Don’t sweat it. Miracles do not exist in our sense of time, they are timeless. Just pray again. Pray for peace and serenity. Reaffirm the truth of the situation which is that God loves you and is going to come through for you. It’s not that we are asking too much we are asking too little. God wants to bless us but we don’t feel worthy. That’s usually what’s happening.

STEP THREE: Something will happen

I call them signs or spiritual ques. Something will happened letting you know the miracle is here. It could be a phone call or a letter. But you will know. For some reason miracles have a tendency to be delivered to your door step. They come to you. You don’t have to go out there looking for them, so don’t. If you asked for a new house it could be a phone call from someone saying they have one and they want to meet you. And yes it can come right out of the blue just like that. You’ll be like ‘ man how did they know I was looking for a house?’ don’t forget we’re dealing with miracles so don’t act all surprised when they start happening. But you can if you want to. We won’t tell.

STEP FOUR: Action

Sometimes miracles just out right happen and you don’t need to take any action. For example; once my air conditioner broke and it was 110 degrees out side. I had no money. We were dying inside so I prayed for God to fix it and when I went to turn it on again it came right on, cool air and everything! In that case I didn’t have to take any action. (Except going and turning it on, but that don’t count.) But in another instance someone might have called and said they had the money and you might have had to go get it. Or someone might call who knows how to fix it and you have to go to the store to get the part. But it’s only at this point that you take action. Just follow up on the que. So in the case of the house your looking for, call the lady back and meet her. If there are any more actions just keep following each one as new ques are presented. For example once you meet the lady she might say do you want to look at the house. You go look then she might ask you to fill out an app. Easy stuff. The key is these follow up actions are always effortless. They flow and require no struggle. And they feel right. If at anytime they don’t feel right then stop. If at anytime there is fear or struggle than you are not taking the right action and should stop. God is not about struggle. The reason things feel like a struggle is because were trying to manage them with out God. And for those who say “but I thought God helps those who helps themselves.” No! God helps those who let God help them! Are you letting God help you or are you trying to help yourself?

But what if you miss a que. Don’t worry. God will come knocking again and again. Each time the que will get louder. Till it’s knocking you over the head and only an idiot would not see it. So don’t worry about missing something. This worry about missing an opportunity causes lots of people to get fearful and stressed. When we’re dealing with miracles there is no place for fear, or stress or worry. So if your having any of these your are definitely out of the miracle space.

STEP FIVE: RECEIVE

Be totally open to any way the miracle will show up. It might not come the way you expect. Probably won’t. all your expectations are based on memories from the past. God deals in the realm of infinite possibilities. God has his reasons. So don’t judge the form. Many people do and have a problem receiving. So if your friend all of a sudden gives you the thing you just prayed for don’t get all bent out of shape and think you have to pay that person back or something. No just gracefully receive the gift and say thank you . but especially say thank you to God an realize that all things come from god. It wasn’t your friend giving it to you it was God giving it to you via your friend. This is the way to see it happening. To many people get stuck on the form of the miracle and then source that form. Say you needed 100 dollars and your friend called up and said out of the blue they wanted to gift you with 100 dollars. The next time you need 100 dollars don’t call your fiend. The ego always wants to look to the past and the way something worked in the past. The correct way is to go to God with it. Always. To do otherwise is to source the form. So in this case to source your friend. Don’t do that. It’s simple. Just ask for the money again via prayer. And it’s not complicated. Here is an example. God I need 100 dollars please help me. Thank you. That’s it.

STEP FIVE: SAY THANKS!

The last step, once the miracle is received is to say thank you. I’m sure at this point that won’t be a problem. In fact you your really gutsy. While your waiting for your miracle, if you start sweaten and worryin’, instead of repeating the request just say thanks for it as if it already happened. Because in eternity it has! All your doing is acknowledging the truth of the situation.

So that’s it, Ask, Wait, Que, Action, Receive, Thanks

Also God is not about fear. Many people think they are to fear God but this is not true. We are to love God. Why would love want to be feared that doesn’t make any sense. Love wants only one thing and that’s love. Fear is actually the pain caused by our separation from God. So if you are ever in fear it means somehow you have left God. God never leaves us we imagine we have left him and that is fear. So when you’re afraid realize what that feeling is and do what ever you can to remember that God is there no matter how much it looks like he’s not. Look for him and you will start to see signs of him. Love beauty, peace, joy, light. These are all signs of god’s presence.

So the next time you have a problem, remember, you have a choice. you can take the long road and try to once again tackle it yourself or you can take the short road and give God a chance. Try it and see what happens. I’ll be like those network marketing guys on TV. “Give God a chance for 30 days and if your not completely satisfied we’ll give you your money back!” But don’t worry you will be satisfied. Oh one other thing. There’s nothing you need to do to earn Gods favor. Unlike what some religions preach. The fact is we are all God’s children and he loves us. We are not shameful, guilty creatures that he despises. We don’t have to earn his love. God is love, unconditional complete love. So don’t feel ashamed to ask. I don’t care what you have done. Its never to late to give god a change and turn to him and let him get you to where you really need to be.

William Drake

Peace

Let’s talk about Peace. Peace is very important. It may not seem like a big deal but it is very important. Like right there you lost your peace but you should really try to stay connected to peace as much as possible. Peace is God. That state of mind of consciousness is God’s presence in your life. Peace is God’s grace. So when you are not feeling peace do whatever it takes to find peace and do THAT first. Don’t let your ego tell you that you have to do such and such and THEN you can relax. First comes the state of Peace and then come the miracles. Find Spirit first and then all things will follow.

Don’t make Spirit last. This is the mistake you may be making now. You see things of the world that press you, that scream out like they must happened first and tell you that only then can you relax. But this is not true. It is a trick and an illusion that will keep you forever out of touch with God.

First find Spirit and then go to the world and apply spiritual tools to the problem.

Give up all your elaborate plans. With God you need no plans just trust and faith. God will handle the details.

Do not worry.

Trust and let go.

Yes, do what you FEEL you want to do not what you THINK you should do.

Still your mind and then let PEACE guide you towards the right actions.

But also avoid distraction. It is more important than ever that you stay in touch and get deeper into the Spirit.

You do not need to MAKE it happen.

That is just your ego using fear in a last ditch attempt to stay in control by co-opting your purpose.

Relax. That is the best way. It seems counter intuitive in our rush rush, busy busy society of ours but by relaxing you can tap into the divine plan for your life. Do what you feel moved to do. That will be the right way. You must let go of outcome. Trust in the process. Even if all you feel like doing is sleeping or going for walks and you feel that you are not getting work done or making progress, that’s ok. THAT is the process you need to trust in.

You are coming along. Do not worry so much. Soon you will really understand this process and it will not seem so mysterious to you.

Above water again

Finally I am getting above water again as in getting back into the flow of things. It took me about 3 days to decompress from the error of working on that contract. But I am back and the trick is to stay here. I am going to work on the book when I finish this and work on some other things. It is kind of hard to get any work done during the day with the kids and all. But I have to find some help with the kids so I can focus.

An idea I want to talk about is that there seems to be two realties. A conscious one that we are taught exists. In this reality we need money for all our needs. But I have started to become aware of another a more natural one I guess you could call it the flow. I am realizing that the flow is the true reality but it becomes obscured in the west because we are programmed to think we need money for all of our needs. The thought is that without money we would die. But this is a lie. Many primitive tribes are living in the flow. They create and allow nature to give them what they need as they need it. In our industrial society we are constantly focused on a carrot. Namly money. We always feel out of sync with life because we are taught that happiness is via money. We are not taught that we can have a direct experience of happiness doing something out of joy. I feel like I am waking from a long sleep.

I’ll give you an example. I just got paid from my contract about 750. As I focus my awareness on that 750 I start to think it is all the money I have. I start to associate my survival with it. I start to have thoughts like how am I going to pay this and this with this 750. as if that is all the money in the world and all the money I will ever get. Before I got paid I was in the flow and paid things as money flowed in from sources that I was unconscious off and could not predict. Which is the true reality. See the flow is the true reality. The problem is when I get money it is staring me in the face and start to appear as the ultimate reality for me but it is not. Life will go on. The key is dependence. The key is to act as if that money is not important. To get detached from it, so detached that when money flows in you are like oh money that’s nice and then you focus back on your work. And your joy. When you get scared and focus on that money, where the next money is going to come from how are we going to pay the bills then you get out of the flow and actually lessen your chances of taking care of everything. We have been programmed to think this way.

Delayed gratification. Work hard doing something you don’t like so you can get this happiness iou called money. With money we are taught that you can go out and buy your happiness. And in reality this is a con that is used to get us to help someone else achieve his or her happiness.

Every thing you feel you must have is how you get trapped. Why is it that when south American tribes are contacted the first time they are living in harmony but go back ten years later and the tribe will more likely than not have been devastated. Alcoholism, prostitution and and trash litter the tribal compound. Most of the young are gone to the cities where they try to eeek out a life seeking city happiness. Always chasing that carrot called a good place to live, a nice car, a tv the so called good life. But they were happier probably when they had the tribe and were ignorant of the western world. In the west happiness is sold in little boxes called products and services. Little happiness boxes.

I think the trick os to see how happy you can be with the least amount of things. Or at least dependence on things.

Sometimes to get in the flow we have to give up our dependence on the world and sometimes to do that we have to actually give up the world then once we learn how to depend on the flow which is really god then we can build back up and surpass our previous standard of living but this time it is flodependent not fear based dependenace . this time we know that our source is god and we could lose everything and that would be ok. It’s like the zen saying when you no loger need a thing then you will get it. Ithink what they are really saying is when you no loger depend on it thenyou will get in the lflow that can really get it to you.

Trapped in a world of gloom!

As long as you believe that giving into fear can save you from doom, you are forever trapped in a world of gloom!

Finding a good fit

Are you a square peg trying to fit into a round hole?.

The more difficult something is the more it means you are not fitting.

Difficult = bad fit.

Harder = more of a bad fit.

Easy = good fit

Easier = better fit.

It is not so much about working harder to do something that is difficult it is about being inspired to do something that feels right.

Why is it that the worse the fit the more money people are willing to pay you? Because it is a bad fir for so many people!

The whole society has been configured so that people are pushed into bad fits and away from good ones. Good fits are not cultivated. We are not taught how to recognize them and to cherish them. In fact we are taught to forget them.

Instead we are taught that to survive we must suffer and work hard at making bad fits work but bad fits never work. The sooner we realize this the better off we are.

Beach Cliff Dream

In the dream I met some men who ran a business. I went for a walk with one an older black guy in his forties. He seemed depressed and I remember telling him that the would not like what I had to say but that it was the answer to his problems. From what I remember they were typical greedy businessman types. I told him that the world was now following a new paradigm. I distinctly remember telling him that word. He was listening. For once I had a dream with a blue sky. Most of my dreams have been at night in dark places with dark people. Anyway I told him that we were leaving the old paradigm. I can’t remember exactly what the old paradigm was. I think it had something to do with selfishness and greed. I then told him that the new paradigm was about sharing and that as soon as they picked this idea up things would get better.

An awakening.

At first I thought wow that's interesting and I sent it to a few friends via email and said "hey what do you think?" I got a little positive feed back. I read it a couple of times and thought, "wow it would be nice to be inspired like that." But I had no real idea how to get started. I was still very much involved with my job. But about 3 or 4 days later, at about 1 in the morning I was sitting on my bed with my laptop just goofing around, you know, checking emails, browsing some web sites etc and listing to some relaxing music. ( A great way to induce inspiration I would later realize) Then without any plan or intention I opened the paragraph I had written a few days earlier and reread it because I thought it was kind of interesting. Then a funny thing happened. Like I said, at the time, I had no intention of writing a book, I just thought it was an interesting piece of writing, I mean, I never considered my self a writer and I have always hated English. I always thought writing was just words and grammar. As I read it again, when I got to the end, all of a sudden I felt a strong need to add more, I figured I would just add another paragraph or so, but as I got to the end of that paragraph I felt the desire to write another and another, soon my hands were flying again just like at work when I had written the first paragraph. I could not stop and I could not write enough. It was that same pregnant, 'I can't get it out fast enough,' feeling. So I wrote and wrote and wrote and without stopping, I wrote another 14 pages. Time stopped, I lost my self in what was coming though my fingers. It's like I was being told the answers to all kinds of creative issues. Soon I stopped and looked at the time and it was 5 in the morning. I had been writing non-stop for 4 hours. But it felt like only 1 hour. When I looked once again I was amazed at what I wrote, I thought, How did I know this? Where did this come from? Everything I wrote just seemed to ring true. I felt I had finally been given the answers I had been seeking all my life about true creative freedom. Most of what I had written was totally different than what I had been taught about what one needed to do to be happy on this Earth. It was only then after I read what I had written that I started to think "hey this could be a book." Soon we left Toronto and when I got back to Houston, I eventually quit my job determined to live the life of inspiration I had written about. I continue with that journey. I felt that before I could really share this information with others I had to put it all on the line and live it myself. The whole thing has been like peeling an onion. I thought I had most of the answers when I wrote those 14 pages, but as I attempted to live the book or what I now call "the dream power philosophy," I discovered that those 14 pages were but the beginning of a much larger work. I was only at the door and those 14 pages merely pointed the way. I have discovered that there are many levels and layers to inspiration, that there is a difference between just knowing about inspiration, finding it and living it. I hope you find this information as helpful and as meaningful as I have. Although I wrote it, the information definitely did not come from any conscious part of me. I don't know where it came from, maybe it came from my subconscious, or what some call our higher self, an unconscious but higher wiser self, maybe it was a direct communication from God or my guardian angel, who knows? All I know is that the information rings true for me and it seems to ring true for others. I definitely believe that I must get this information to as many people as I can. I believe many people could benefit from it. My challenge has been to stay true to what I have written and not get distracted by fears and the irrelevant concerns of this so-called life. Lets just say this whole adventure has been a real eye opener for me. I hope it will be for you too.

The Wakeup Call

I typed the words: "What is inspiration" into my laptop just out of sheer frustration because I'm thinking how the heck did I get in this mess, this whole job thing was a big mistake and this is the most uninspired situation I had ever been in. Anyway to my amazement I knew the answer or somehow the answer came to me or through me. Immediately I started typing really fast and the answer to that question just flows out like water, it was really amazing. I am sure you know what I am talking about, it was a feeling like I had all this stuff inside that just had to get out, I could not type fast enough, I felt like I was going to burst! And when I was finished, I had written about a page of material, it was one of those situations where you are like "wow! I wrote that?" "Where did that come from?" We have all had those situations, right. But boy I had no idea that that one page would change the course of my life.

Here's what I wrote…

What does it mean to be Inspired?

"It means to trust your instincts and to move into that space that is interesting, fun and alive! Do what you feel inspired to do in any moment. Don't feel like doing it, don't. Feel like doing it, do! But there is a difference between doing something you feel inspired to do and doing something out of fear. Fear is the enemy. It is easy for fear to disguise itself as inspiration when our ego tells us that the only way to get something is to do something else. Then we feel like we must take a certain action because we think it is the ONLY way. But we cannot see the divine plan. The only thing you can do is to try not to do it all by yourself, don't try to FIGURE it out. Let God's creative spirit move you in the right direction. Think of life like a maze with many choices and dead ends, you can sit there and spend days analyzing the next best move, you can even study maze dynamics in college, but that does not mean you will finish the maze in the most efficient manner. God on the other hand, made the maze, knows its every detail and can see it from every angle; he can see the whole maze and its most efficient solution. So the thing to do is to ask God to show you the most efficient way out of the maze. And the way he does this is through inspiration. Inspiration is God's creative energy moving though you, God using you, God playing you as the most beautiful musical instrument that you are. The goal is to let go and let God make beautiful music through you and the best way for that to happen is for you not to block his energy. When you feel fearful, that is an energy block, when you feel inspired then it flows."

There's a lot more to this paragraph than you might realize. Definitely more than I realized at the time. And as crazy as it might seem, everything in that paragraph is totally true.

What have I gotten myself into!

In the mean time we really enjoyed our time in Canada, I did not even try to save any money figuring that you live only once and who knows when we would be in that situation again. So we spared no expense to do what we wanted, we traveled ate wherever we wanted, rented a nice furnished apartment and basically lived it up. It was the life except for one nagging problem, my job, and a big problem at that because it was not like I could just quit. This job that I hated more and more every day was the source of the money that was allowing us to live high on the hog. But as the months wore on and we had seen every thing and pretty much done every thing in Toronto, the job was starting to take its toll. Around the 5th month I started to rethink the whole thing. The funny thing is I was so enamored by the whole situation that my spirituality had just gone out the window, I hadn't read a single spiritual book or meditated or prayed since we got there. But things were getting nastier and nastier at my job. It was getting hard to deal with. Soon the stresses reached such a point that that I was ready to just totally freak out. Luckily, I remembered that I had spiritual tools to help me deal and that this job was not my true source of happiness. The event that triggered this reawakening was, believe it or not, a movie on TV, it's amazing how God decides to reach a person, the movie was Joan of arc. And although it may or may not have been an accurate portrayal of what happened, it didn't matter. What mattered is that something in the movie moved me spiritually. I guess it was the way Joan seemed to be in touch with spiritual forces no matter how dire her situation, even as she was being burned at the stake. I was also impressed by her passion and dedication to her cause. For instance, She wasn't distracted by things like money, fame or success. This movie moved me and got me rethinking about spiritual matters for the fist time in months. I felt moved to go to the bookstore and then started reading spiritual books again, books like the 'course in miracles' etc. I also started meditating again. It did not take long for these spiritual things to have an effect on me. My spiritual eyes reopened and it became painfully obvious that I was in the wrong situation and no amount of money was worth it. I started to remember being happier with much less money. Times when I had nothing more than rice and eggs to eat. Something had to give and I decided I didn't' care about the money and as much as I loved Canada I had to get out of that job assignment asap. Once again as soon as I let God know exactly what I wanted, in this case that I wanted out of this assignment, he made it happen. The next day I walked into work and got a call from one of my bosses, I knew then that it was an answer to my prayers. See the problem was I couldn't just quit because we were in the middle of this big government project and if I quit it would have looked bad for my partner, my boss who got me the assignment and my company. I was really aware of how actions have consequences and I didn't not want my action of quitting to hurt anyone. But I didn't have to worry about that. As soon as I got in I got this call from my boss telling me that the client had to cut back and one of us (meaning me or my partner) would have to leave the assignment. This was news to my ears and I quickly volunteered to be the one to go. My partner could not believe it. He couldn't believe that I would give up what appeared to be such a golden assignment. But now I knew better. But even thought they decided I was to leave I still was to stay on the assignment for at least another 3 weeks. These 3 weeks were pivotal to my life. Even though I knew I was going to leave, the job was still very stressful. One day while I was counting the hours the situation at work got really stressful, there was some problem with the system we were working on and several people were trying to pin the problem on my partner and me. Usually when things got that stressful I would just leave and go get some tea or something but this time I couldn't leave because they had us calling in for some test results every 30 minutes. As the day went on, I was starting to really get stressed. By this time for political reasons they had kicked my partner and me out of our nice office and we were in a small hallway working on little printer desks, not even real desks. So here I am scrunched up in this corner next to a door that everyone is coming and going out of, there is mega fear in the office because of the situation and I can't leave! I felt really trapped and I just wanted out of that situation so bad you could not believe. I came this close to just walking out and saying sayonara to the whole thing. I needed to escape and the only way I could thing of was to just open my laptop and start writing…

Toronto Canada

We arrived in Toronto and immediately we felt a change, we felt like we had been transported to a new and magical world. It was great, we had the time of our lives. I don't think we will ever forget that trip. But all was not well in paradise. The assignment I was sent on was truly an assignment from hell. Canada and Toronto were nice but the assignment was horrible. To give you an idea of how bad it was, as soon as I arrived for work the first thing that happened is that I was introduced to these people. For the first minute we shook hands and exchanged pleasantries but immediacy after, this one guy starts yelling at me that the system is down and has been down for the last week and that no one knows what is going on and why haven't we fixed it yet and that they expect us to stay the night and have it fixed by the next day. I still had my computer on my shoulder and my coat on. I had been there no more than 5 minutes! I was in shock. I thought what the heck have I gotten my self into now? I said "well let me get situated and call my boss and find out what the situation is and I will get back to you." Luckily I had an office so I could close the door. I made the call and luckily that situation was resolved. It turned out there was mega politics going on, on several levels and unfortunately, as I was to find out later, my partner and I were the 'guinea pigs.' There were a few smooth days but basically that initial negative exchange set the tone for the assignment for the following 6 mos and it climaxed in the last 2 months.

The Weird Things

The first thing that happened was that I was sent for training in Cleveland Ohio, this is significant in that most of my family lives in Ohio and it was almost exactly ten years since I had been there last. I knew this was no coincidence and that I was meant to go there for some reason. For some reason I end up in Cleveland every 10 years. Once I was there at the training another interesting thing happened. I was summoned to the phone to find out that the company wanted to send me to Toronto Canada for my first assignment. I had never been to Toronto and had never given the place much thought but from that moment on it was like I was on a whirlwind. Everyone kept telling me how great and beautiful Toronto was. The thing was that, I could not believe I didn't know about such a popular place. How could I have missed it? Weird. Anyway the cool thing was, that I was going to get some bonus travel money that when combined with my salary would almost double the amount of take home cash I would have to over $10,000 a month! I decided to take the assignment immediately and also decided to bring my family along, that would be my wife, my six year old daughter and my new 6 month old son.