Operation Vancouver, again!

Hey today is a new day but I was feeling really confused when I woke up today. I was having that nagging Vancouver feeling again. That I had to go there, and that that it had to be my first priority. I just want to feel settled. I want to live in a house in the city and the country that I want to live in. Why is this such a big issue? Why won’t I allow my self to do it? What am I afraid of? Anyway I decided to go for it again. I have decided to put dream power on hold again, at least any major projects. I might keep working on some scripts like Eden and Maya but I feel I can’t really commit to any big film projects until I am settled. I just don’t feel right in Seattle. Will I feel right in Vancouver? I have no idea? It might be worse. We might be total outcasts. But I want to know. I don’t want to regret it. Saying my whole life I wonder what life would have been like there. Plus life is too much of a struggle here. The other thing is that everything is going Internet and I think I should make that the focus of dream power as far as being the main distribution mechanism, especially for films. I think instead of doing a printed magazine, which is hard, and costly. Maybe I should just do an online version. Why not? And to distribute my films I should focus on the Internet. Anyway the last time I made this decision the computer guys just dried up. Will that happen again? We will see. I know how I want to live why can’t I live that way?
I just wonder if this is just my ego making it’s usual compelling arguments again. I don’t know. But I have other smaller wishes and the world doesn’t end. Like to day I wanted to go to McDonalds. And I went and the world did not end. What’s the difference between that and saying hey I want to go to Vancouver and live? Who knows?