Plans and the ego

I am stuck on the Japanese garden video. It’s coming out really good. But I think God has something else in mind. Which I am not surprised since usually his ideas are different than my small hair brained ones. Of course my ego was thinking “oh we can sell this and it will make us money!” but now I have no idea. I’ve decided to live from moment to moment, letting the spirit guide my actions instead of always making plans. No more plans. Plans are a sure sign of the ego. Not even for dream power or films. Nothing of this Earth can save me so there is no need to start making elaborate plans that lead no where. I can make one error or a mountain of errors it don’t matter they’re still errors.

The ego would have you think that if you make a giant colossal mountain of errors. That some how the size of the errors will magically fix the errors. But the ego is only concerned with the illusion of size. Like Enron, it don’t matter if its billions of dollars of errors its still illusion. So why not stop now, turn around the car and head in the right direction.

That’s what I am doing as of right now. Its scary (to my ego) but I know it’s the right thing to do. So as for Vancouver I have no idea. I am not planning to do that big computer guy business. When I was in LA I had $25,000 and a nine-month time period to build up the business and it still did not work. And it probably won’t work now and if it did it would be a struggle and would not bring me the free time and peace of mind that I seek. I know this. Peace of mind comes from God not from businesses and not from money. So I’m not doing that unless God want s me to and I already know that I should not by the lack of joy I feel. A couple months ago I was at this point but I was like well if the jobs keep coming, than maybe it’s a sign. But I wasn’t doing the film work and had forgotten how it felt to be inspired, now I know.

Anyway the editing program I use (studio v 9.1) keeps crashing for some reason. And its starting to become a struggle to finish the Japanese Garden DVD. Which is a shame because I am finished with it for the most part. Now that I am in this new state of consciousness I have no idea where this film will lead. Maybe its only purpose was to wake me up and now that I have woken up (again) it doesn’t need to be finished. Well I hope I can finish it because it is a beautiful peace of work and I am proud of what I or rather what has been created though me. So we will see. The path just gets more and more interesting doesn’t it.